Unity

Every paragraph in an essay should relate clearly to the thesis, and every sentence in a paragraph should relate clearly to the topic.  This is called unity. 

Here are some examples of paragraphs with problems of unity.  The topic sentences are highlighted.
 

1.     In my opinion there should be Community Colleges in El
        Salvador, so more people could have the chance to get an
        education.  El Salvador is suffering from a serious economic
        problem.  In the late 80's a survey showed that between 1.25
        and three million people were in the extreme poverty range.
        According to Hendrix and Thiesengusen in the Harvard
        International Review, "Some of this poverty is chronic and
        some is due to war, lack of productive resources and
        structural adjustment."

This writer intends to explain why more people do not go to college in El Salvador:  because of poverty.  But she does not make that connection obvious, and soon forgets that this was her original purpose.  When she has finished she has written a paragraph about poverty rather than education.

2.    Some parents in Mexico actually support teachers who hit
       the children because they think their children will learn more
       this way.  Those parents think that their kids will spend more
       time studying and doing their homework.  However, this is
       not happening.  Many students do not study or do their
       homework because they do not want to go to school and this
       is the only good excuse for not going to school.  Also, students
       do not do their homework because they do not have anyone
       to help them do it.  The teachers are only available during
       school hours and parents cannot help the children because
       they are never home.  They are out working in the fields.

The first half of this paragraph is on the topic because the writer is answering the people who think hitting children helps them learn:
Hitting doesn't work because students don't do the homework so they won't have to go to school.  However, the second part of the paragraph is off the topic:  the writer begins discussing other reasons that children may not do their homework, and these reasons are not related to the topic, physical punishment.

3.    The entrance exam for university is not closely related to what
        is taught in high school.  In fact there are specific books and
        courses to help students prepare for the entrance exam.  I think
        more importance should be placed on a student's high school
        performance because what the student learns in high school
        prepares him or her for university.  The entrance exams make
        everyone feel hectic and nervous.  What the student learns in
        high school is general education that everyone needs to know.
        It is the root of all education.  It is like a plant and a bacteria,
        which may not directly help the plant grow but fertilizes the
        soil and helps keep the water for the plant roots.  In this case
        the bacteria would be high school and the plant would be the
        entrance exams.

First, if the reason for emphasizing high school is that it prepares students, the fact that the exams make everyone nervous is not relevant.  Second, the analogy of the plant and the bacteria becomes confusing and so distracts the reader from the topic.  Both are problems of unity.

06/07/2002